Hmmm... Open topic day! Well today I'm going to write about the stress in my life right now. I've been stressed bad for a few months now. I helped plan an run for our town in May, raised enough money to build a new playsystem for our community, and worked tirelessly to achieve this huge goal! The goal is achieved, it's awesome, however it seems that our city council didn't do their end of the deal. Therefore, I have been dealing with them - their negativity - their accusations - a bunch of meetings - just a bunch of "stuff" that I really don't need in my life right now. I want to be focusing on so many other things, I want to be enjoying my life, but right now it's not happening. Last night I went to another "meeting" with the city council. All problems have been resolved, however there was a "Bridge Burned" throughout this process, don't think that is repairable!
I maybe stressed a little (ok.....a LOT) with the craziness of my life. My day starts with a run at 6:00 am ... then I'm back home getting ready, getting 3 kids ready.... and to work by 8 where I reside until 5pm each day. Then I FLY to pick up kid throw baseball uniforms on, grab gatorade, grab diaper bag, slap a sandwich for everyone together as quick as I can.... scream at the kids cuz they aren't hurrying.... drive WAY over the speed limit to get to the ballfields....and sit and watch several games. I love baseball, I love watching my kids do things they love, I love being busy, BUT....I'm tired! So after ball we FLY home take speedy baths, rush kids to bed so we can start all over the next day. My day's start at 6am and normally end at midnight, non stop all day, no wonder I'm tired.
I may be stressed with work??? I work hard, I take GREAT pride in my job. I try to do everything 110% and do things right the first time. I don't make much money, I don't get appreciated all the time, but I work for a company that I have a lot of respect for. I work for a Christian Man that truely takes care of his employees.
I feel blessed, however would give just about anything to be able to have more time at home with my kids. I am jealous of my friends that get to do this (and annoyed with those that don't appreciate it or actually "Stay home!"). It seriously makes me sick when I see my "stay at home mom" friends that don't stay at home or take their kids with them to do things, and enjoy their kids but rather dump them off and do things for themselves. If I'm not at work, I have 3 kids right next to me EVERYWHERE I go, and that's ok. They are my kids they are my responsibility. I like having them around too! :) I wish I could hang out with them right now, be the one taking them to the park, the pool, the library... Just having a fun some with them. BUT I'm not so I squeeeeeeze as much as I can in on the evenings and the weekends.
I may be a little stressed because I just can't say NO... I love lending a hand, I love helping people, but too much is too much, and Yep I'm in over my head most of the time. I have a hard time saying no when people ask me to help with worthwhile causes (esp. at church).
I realize right now that I need some ME time. I need time to process my thoughts, to pray, to just relax with no interruption. I LOVE my crazy life and can't imagine it any other way but everyone gets 'tired' right? Everyone sure seems to be "too busy!" that's all I ever hear... I bite my tongue sometimes not to say, "Oh yea, walk a day in my shoes" -- they'll think busy!
With all that said, I am very THANKFUL! I am thankful for all the things I just ranted about and I am BLESSED! I love my family, I love my kids, I love my life. I just pray daily that I am living with no regrets and won't regret the times I had to work and not be with my kiddos. I hope because I work I am a better mom, that I can help provide for my family, and that I teach my kids the value of work and the value of a dollar. I hope that my kids appreciate that I try to give them as much of my time when I'm not at work as I possibly can. I pray that I am raising my children to respect, love, and first and foremost Love God! I pray that I am the wife to my husband that he needs me to be and that he always loves me as much as I love him. ... and I pray that I always live life to the fullest! When I leave this earth I hope I have impacted atleast one life and that I made a few people smile. I hope that I have shown love, shown respect, and shown integrity.
So, today I'm going to take a DEEP breathe... try to relax and know that "This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!"
This verse is giving me comfort right now:
I Peter 5:7
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
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